I want you to know, that as of tonights episode of Dollhouse...

I AM IN LOVE WITH TOPHER BRINK!!!

I have ganked 3 Whedon-inspired fan-mixes from curi_o . You can find them, and some more lovely mixes she made, here: http://curi-o.livejournal.com/50693.html

I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Okay, so I've been a huge lazy-ass lately! LOL! I know, I know, I'm sorries! I haven't posted in forever, but I just feel like...belgh! What's been going on in my life that's so exciting? You know? I get up, I go to work, (I think I'm getting carpal in my wrist, elbow, and shoulder--or tendinitis, whatever, cuz they alternately hurt and feel tingly numb. We don't have arm rests on our chairs, and our desks are situated funny so my right arm--dominant hand, and all--is constantly hanging off my shoulder very unhealthfully and...ow.), I then come home, occasionally watch some boob-tube, read, read on ff.net, and go to beddies just so I can get up and do it again. I don't DO anything. I have no car, and the Cincy metro is kinda the suck in terms of routes and destinations. Plus...I IS ALL ALOOOOONE!!!! My peeps have all left me and gotten real lives. (Not that I blame y'alls. I just...am lonely. I don't make friends easily, not real ones, and don't get me wrong, I like my solitude, but I miss you guys who used to be here.

Which is a nice segue into this little bit of me-ness: I'm thinking of joining Geek2Geek, that internet dating, chat place for, well, geeks, obviuosly. I mean, where else am I going to find someone who gets the reference "If you can't run, you crawl, and if you can't do that, you find someone to carry you"? Or who knows how to read manga correctly, and understands Buffy references, and won't think I'm a total freak if I squee about fanfiction and icons and wallpapers featuring my ship-of-the-year? And, even better, someone who won't think it's weird when I crack out my tarot cards and do a quick celtic cross or when I HAVE to stop in the bookstore before I leave the mall and spend an hour and a half ogling the pretties.

See, the problem with me, I'll admit, is that I'm a hypocrite. Let me explain: I'm rather chubby. I'd call myself fat, though there are definitely those who are larger than me. I'm also not particularly pretty. I clean up okay, and I'm even...cute, I guess, when I put my mind to it. But my face is kind of squished together (true-- I had someone at Lenscrafters a few years ago helping me pick out new frames and she mentioned that my facial features were all centered very close together) and plus with the extra poundage, I'm not classically pretty. It's not low self-esteem, it's owning a mirror and knowing what I look like. But...I like hot guys. I'd like someone who's interested in me to be thinnish and handsome. Well kept, well groomed, and yummy. And those guys??? Are never going to look twice at me. I know this.  It's an evolutionary perogative--good-looking people end up with good-looking people, the smart to the smart, the wealthy with the wealthy...like attacts like in all things except physics. But when some...troll gives me what he clearly thinks is a charming smirk (usually just creepy) and says (INVARIABLY! EVERY FRIGGIN' TIME!!!) "Hey, baby, what's yo' name?" (Uh, Not Interested.) all I can think is, why do cute guys never flirt with me.

See? Hypocrite.

Also, snob. I know. It's a failing, but I'm not sure it's one I'm willing to give up. I mean, is it snobbery or standards? Probably a bit of both.

Okay, I've burdened you all with my pathos enough for one post. As always, I'll try to update more often. LOVE YOU ALL!
CWC

Took me all bloody week to post this, but YAY! I took my sister to see Mama Mia! (stage show) on Saturday last. It was so fun. We got all dolled up and went downtown to catch an afternoon matinee, then caught the bus back to my humble abode. We went to the College Hill Coffee Company for dinner, then watched Dodgeball. (Then, unfortunately, I had the mother of all sinus headaches thanks to the bloody soggy weather we had that day) so I had to go to bed. She slept over on the floor. And scared the crap out of me in the middle of the night when she got up to go to the bathroom. Sheesh!  'Bout gave her sissy a heart attack!

The show was awesome! I'd seen the movie before, and it follows the stage version very closely. There were a few differences, obviously, but it was truly adorable. The curtain call took forever, but it was fun. Everybody in the theater was up and dancing at the end. It was a lot of fun! I think Kate had a lot of fun, but she's not very communicative. But she said she had fun. And so did I. :D

totally stole from Toxic Corn!

1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name): Christina James
2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad & father's dad): Al Robert
3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name): Blaca
4. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal): Burgundy Dragon (shut up! It is a real animal!)
5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born): Elizabeth Clifton (It's part of Cincy! And it sounds better)
6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning): The Green Mojito (...*!snort!*)
7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name): Cack (to quote Toxinc "...the fuck?")
8. GANGSTA NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie): Mint Chip Sandies (it frightens me that that sounds almost possible)
9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pets name, current street name): Cloe Hamilton (had to use sister's pet, but still, cool!)
10. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy): Sweet Honesty Twizzlers (homydeargods!!!!!)

Nothing is ever free. Remember that.

I'm sure you guys have seen the banners and web ads for the Rachel Ray, "as seen on CNN", Acai Berry diet coupled with the colonic supplements. It's the one with the fresh-faced blonde with glasses. Out of curiosity and no little amount of annoyance when yet another pair of jeans didn't quite button, I clicked on the ad, read the real life shpeal of the perky blonde, and decided--hell, it's a free trial. It if doesn't work, I'm out a couple bucks shipping and handling, and what's that compared to a pair of cute jeans I bought in August not fitting me in February? It's not like I was expecting miracles. I'm on the dumpy side of curvey, and my goal weight is 140; in my wildest dreams I'm a size 8, but I was pretty much hoping for a size 10 or even a consistant size 12 would be better than jumping between 14 and 16. So, I get the free trials of both.

Now, here's what they don't tell you. You're not just signing up for the free trail, you're signing up for membership, and when you give them your credit card number, they retain it in their system. This week I was contacted by my credit union, where I get my debit/credit card through, with two charges of over $75 dollars each to Acai Berry and Colon Medic. I had no idea where they came from, as I'm not done with my free trail yet, and I certainly did not order more of either. They just sent me stuff and billed me. Surprise!

So, life lesson learned. I've canceled both accounts and am trying to get a refund, but not holding my breath. For anyone who might be tempted to be as gullible as I was---DON'T FALL FOR FREE TRIALS!!!

I am now, officially, in my new apartment!!!!!

I've been here a week today. The move was tiring, of course, and I think my Dad was about to disown me at one point, LOL! But most of my stuff is put a way, and I have things mostly where I want them. I still need at least one more lamp for my living room since there's no over-head light in that room, and I need a table in my dining room. Yeah, that room is pretty much bare at this point.... But my kitchen is all in order, and so is my bathroom. I'm getting used to all the noises and quirks of the place, and I'm sleeping more-or-less through the night. The only thing that seems to be consistantly waking me up is temperature change. I'm on radiator heat, so when the water is on, it gets warm fast. When it's off, it gets chilly. So during the night, the heat will turn on and I'll get hot and kick off my blankets, then when it turns off, I get cold and wake up to pull them back on. But that's not so horrible. There's no air conditioning (the building is at least 80 years old) so we'll see how I do in the summer, huh?

I'm so ridiculously happy, though! Being on my own has, so far, been good for me. Relaxing, and quiet and freeing.

To everyone who celebrates anything in the month of December, Happy Winter Holiday! I hope everyone had a peaceful day/week/fortnight of their choice. And, if you get presents, then I hope you got what you wanted.

It was a good Christmas Eve for me, which, in my family, is when the true festivities are held. Two of my cousins are pregnant, so it was a night of pregnacy stories, baby names, and general squealing. (A little bittersweet for me.) Plus, there were lots of cookies (I am such a cow!) and fudge and, of course, the inevitable family stories. Now that's always fun, although a bit of a broken record. Still, very funny. I feel sorry for the new additions to the family (the in-flux of in-laws we've gotten the last year and a half) who have to get used to the combined Lenzer-Knapke brand of insanity. We're pretty odd.

How was your holiday?

Tonight was my sister's first school band concert. She started the clarinet in October, and by the middle of December, she can play a passable "Good King Wensecslause". Brava for her.

And who should be at said 6th grade band concert than the guy I had the most violent crush on at the end of high school. He was accompanying another alum, Callie, who had a younger sibling in the middle school band. I can assume they're dating. Neither came out and said so, but he did mention that he'd been dragged along by her.

The attraction was still there. He is not classically handsome by any means, but he is one of those people who, the more you are around him, the more attractive he becomes. And he has the greenest eyes of anyone I've ever met. Wicked sense of humor. Enjoys pointing out the obvious.

But I'm wondering if the hurt I'm feeling is more my obsessing over it--quite possible, as it didn't hurt this bad upon first realization--or if there is part of me that is still crushing on him. Hell, I think he was the closest I ever came to first love. I still regret not making a move when I had the chance. So now I sit alone and lonely, poking at this thing like a cancker sore or a mostly (but not quite completely) healed scab. All I'm doing is making it worse.

"I want, I want," I keep thinking. No more "wants". I'm done. I lost my chance. Somewhere out there I'll find the person I'm right for and who is right for me. Hopefully. But, damnit, I'm 23, I've never had a boyfriend, and I'm fucking lonely. He or she better get here quick or I'm taking the veil!

The last two weekends I've been buying supplies for moving out. (*SQUEE*) Today I bought a broom and dustpan, a coffee maker, a toaster, a cookie sheet, a toilet bowl brush, a baking pan, two mixing bowls, a shower curtin, some washcloths, and a paring knife! Last weekend I bought a shower liner, a bathroom rug, two pans, a skillet, three towels, a plunger, and a can opener!

I know it's silly, but I love them all! Why? Cuz they're MIIIIIIINE!!!!!!

I am so excited about finally moving out, though it will mean giving up the internet for a while. I'm not sure how bad the bills will be, so it will be a while before I try to get hooked up. Luckily, my apartment is right over a coffee shop that offers free wi-fi, so on the weekends I can go down, snag lunch or just some java, and hook up to the internet. Woot!

My poor mom, though. She's freaking out a little--her first baby moving away from home. A whole 5 minutes from home. Seriously, it's not that far away. But she's dealing. She worries. Seriously, she's the best there is, so I can't complain.

BTW/FYI/PS
In case anybody else has those icky bugs in their basement that look like some freakish mutation between a cricket and a spider, I did some research, cuz we have them too. They are crickets, not spiders. They don't bite or sting. They eat mold and mildew and like cool dark places--thus, basements and garages. They do also eat fibers, so that means clothes and books. They leave holes that look like moth holes. Also, cats apparently are quite fond of chasing and eating them. Of course, so are mice and rats, so one infestation can lead to another.

So, in case you wanted to know, there you go. Not as scary when you know they're crickets, even though they are disgusting and creepy!